Maintaining Your Marriage

Have you ever looked around you and noticed the marital destruction? Couples who have been married for 15, 20, 30 years divorcing left and right. Dating couples changing partners every few weeks. Why is that? Lack of feeling? Lost that 'loving' feeling? We like to use that excuse. Alot. "I'm sorry honey, I just don't FEEL like I love you anymore." Sometimes I don't feel like eating pizza, doesn't mean I don't still love it. Feelings are a shallow and fickle indicator of the depth of a relationship and should never be used to determine it's outcome.

So how do you have a lasting relationship? Well, I'm no expert. But I'll tell you what I've learned. The number one foundation to any lasting relationship is commitment. A collective groan just went up. Anything but that word. Let's simplify. Commitment merely means this, I am here, in this relationship, no matter what. I won't hide when it's hard, quit when I fail, run when I'm hurt, or give up when I'm tired and no longer feel like I love you. I will forgive when I've been wronged. I will make the choice to love you, through the good, the bad, the ugly and the amazing. And yes, you will encounter each and every one of those.

Okay - so we have the foundation laid, seems simple enough. It's hard. It's work. It's totally worth it. But how do you build on that foundation? Two key cornerstones to building your marriage go hand in hand. Trust and Honesty. You cannot trust someone who is not honest with you and you cannot be honest with someone you don't trust. Take a minute and think about that. We don't share ourselves, open up, talk about things with someone we don't trust, why? Because they could hurt us. And we certainly can't trust someone who doesn't tell us the truth. But with trust and honesty you begin to build a marriage relationship that is strong. That withstands the storms that life WILL bring. Make no mistake, there will be storms. But with a foundation built on commitment and a framework made up of trust and honesty, then you begin to build your relationship in strength. From honesty and trust you build solid communication, loyalty, respect and your love deepens and strengthens as you grow together. You no longer rely on your feelings to tell you how to act or be in this relationship because your feelings are dictated by your commitment to love and cherish this person that you are married to.

Relationships of any kind are hard. Without commitment, I believe, they're impossible. Without trust and honesty, I believe in a limited life expectancy. If you rely on how you feel, well....you'll probably find yourself feeling alone. Feelings will follow commitment. Dr. Ed Wheat says this,
"There can be no growth in your relationship as long as there is doubt as to your commitment to your marriage. Make your commitment!"